For the past 2 days, I’ve been feeling a little sad. Some change is in the air and I haven’t been able to identify precisely what change, what sadness. It felt as though I was leaving something behind and embarking on a new adventure—an adventure that was very quiet and subdued. Will I stop disseminating spiritual knowledge through teleconferences, I wondered? Will I completely redefine my offerings and move into a new phase? Will I drop the body? What change is looming that could be so life changing?
Finally, this morning in meditation, I put my finger on it.
Have you seen the movie The Lord of the Rings or read Tolkien’s wonderful trilogy of that name? If so, perhaps you remember one of the last scenes where the elves, Bilbo, Frodo, and Gandalf get on a pretty wooden boat, sail out of the harbor, and disappear from view. They leave for a new world. “That’s it,” I thought. “That moment in the film captures the feeling perfectly!”
It’s as though I’ve gotten on a boat and am sailing out toward the unknown. The unknown isn’t scary. It’s actually quite peaceful. It holds the sense of returning to something long forgotten.
It’s the looking back that is poignant and laced with sadness. Leaving the old world, the old ways, the old structures. Leaving everything behind. Bidding goodbye to an old friend.
Rama, who was my spiritual teacher in this and other lives, had an expression for the phenomenon that seems to be occurring: the splitting of the worlds. Back in the 80s and 90s, when I heard him use that phrase, I never quite knew what he meant. Later, in 2004, during my energetic work of unplugging the underlying structures of the Patriarchy, I had a direct experience of the worlds splitting—at least on an energetic level. Perhaps at that time it was a foreshadowing of what would eventually happen in the third-dimensional world.
I realize that the phrase doesn’t quite make sense to the rational mind, but I don’t know how else to say it. I suppose Rama didn’t either. One thing becomes two. One reality splits off leaving two separate realities.
It’s not a bad thing, of course. Just part of the ascension process. We’ve all know that, sooner or later, we would part company with the world as we have known it. The further we go in our personal ascension, the more things we must say goodbye to: people, places, attachments, desires, belief systems, states of mind. Even the peace and balance we work so hard to attain as spiritual seekers, in the final stages of our quest, must be honored and brought to rest. And, in the end, there is only the echo of “all gone, all gone”.
Is this something to be alarmed about? Is there some looming decision that needs to be made? Is there something you need to “do”?
Not at all. This is beyond the emotional, intellectual, and physical bodies. What is transpiring is beyond the human spectrum. If there is any choice to be made, it will be made from your heart of heart. Just a simple inner turning. Just a moment of looking back.
No need to worry. No need to decide. Just live each day in an impeccable and heart-felt way. Relax. Trust. Watch what your body of awareness does in each moment.
Will the physical world change? I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?
All I know is that if there is the feeling of poignancy or sadness, then it is best to turn, like a small child, and become curious. Welcome it. Embrace it. Merge with it. And watch it gently come to rest.
And then, move on…